


signs of life

by januarys



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 04:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/januarys/pseuds/januarys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ME3. As you kiss him, you know it’s the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	signs of life

**Author's Note:**

> See, I told myself that 'oh I'll write something happy like idk BAKERY AU (seriously do these two have one yet? if not wow someone should write it with me ahaha)' and then... this came out instead. Well then. I just. Gah. Sorry.

London is burning around you, ash and dust hurtling towards a darkened horizon.

When you breathe, you breathe smoke and death. It’s all your nightmares dancing on your tongue and blackening your lungs. Each movement becomes harder than the last, the armour that was once your second skin is now something foreign, unknown.

Everything is unfamiliar, everything is _wrong_.

You realise that as he keeps a firm distance from you, his eyes betraying the expression on his face. It’s in his stiff posture, the internal struggle to maintain control. It’s in the firm set of his mouth, the creases on his brow. All eyes are on him, are on _Commander Shepard_ , and he’s not going to break, never.

But you know him, you’ve seen ( _felt, touched, tasted_ ) the man behind the armour. You can see the way his hands tremble at his sides, the pinched expression in his eyes, how his breathing is uneven. There’s a neon orange gash on his jaw amongst dust and debris, the ashes on London clinging to his flesh and your heavily gloved fingers itch to brush it all away, to cradle his face and promise that it’ll be okay, we’ll be fine—

Your heart races against your chest as he turns to walk away, to become another silhouette against the horizon. There are things you want to say, things you need him to hear but he’s _walking away_ and this is the end, this is it, this _can’t_ be the end.

Despite the many eyes upon _Commander Shepard_ , you reach out to _John_ and close the distance, his exhale warm against your skin.

As you kiss him, you know it’s the last time.

It’s the huff against your lips that makes you press into him harder, makes you wish that you could feel his scalp beneath your fingertips. He melts into you, armour clicking against your own. His strong fingers grasp your elbow, his other hand interlocking with the hand you’ve placed on his waist.

He tastes like smoke and ashes, London burning, _John._

You pour everything into this. The tentative looks across the deck, the way he whispers your name beneath you at night, the lopsided smile as you gear up for another mission. All the time you didn’t have, all the moments that never were, the moments that never will be.

This is the end. This is the final goodbye.

It’s over too soon. He breaks away and rests his forehead against yours, whispers nothing and everything. Your hand comes down to his neck, fingers brushing against the pulse. His grip on your elbow tightens and he opens his eyes to meet yours, brilliant and blue and _terrified._

London is burning around you, and he is the only thing you know. Both your hands come up to cradle his jaw, your thumb caressing the neon scar. He watches you intently; face set into his usual mask but his eyes revealing the truth.

It’s all you can do to press your lips against his forehead, to try and smooth out the lines that threaten to burst forward. He stays against you for a moment and you breathe in sync.

One, two, three.

Then he pulls away from you, hands steady and brow smooth. His eyes search your face once more, as though he’s trying to memorise this moment, memorise everything about you for— something you don’t want to think about, before that lopsided grin is on his lips again as he turns away from you. Maybe for the last time.

London continues to burn.


End file.
